Sunday, May 29, 2005

8 years

Today is the eighth year of Jeff Buckley's passing. The man may be gone, but the music remains for all of us to enjoy. I don't think I have any friend who's a Jeff Buckley fan like me, so if you fit the bill, stand up, raise your hand, do some cartwheels, say hi...

Anyway, let me share with you two of my favorite Buckley songs:
Last Goodbye
This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then I’ll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over

Man, everything about that song above just kicks my ass... That song pulled me through in a lot of my "I'm down" times.

There's the moon asking to stay
Long enough for the clouds to fly me away
Well it's my time coming, I'm not afraid to die
My fading voice sings of love,
But she cries to the clicking of time
Of time

Wait in the fire...

And she weeps on my arm
Walking to the bright lights in sorrow
Oh drink a bit of wine we both might go tomorrow
Oh my love
And the rain is falling and I believe
My time has come
It reminds me of the pain
I might leave
Leave behind

Wait in the fire...

And I feel them drown my name
So easy to know and forget with this kiss
I'm not afraid to go but it goes so slow

The way Jeff Buckley sang that last stanza on that song, man... another song that kicks my ass each time I hear it.

ps: If you wait long enough (depends on yout connection speed), you'll hear some Jeff Buckley music playing in the background.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

The Five People You Kill In Heaven

1. People who are dumb

2. People who are irresponsible

3. People who are careless with other people's properties

4. People who do not deserve a piece of heaven but get it anyway

5. People who do not agree with me

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Ito Ang Sagot Sa Problema ng Pilipinas

In this searing summer heat, there's nothing more satisfying than:

A.) Going to Boracay with your friends, enjoying the nice, powder-fine, sugary-white sand beach of the paradise island.

B.) Going up to Sagada with your friends, enjoying the awesome cool temparature, the calm and relaxing atmosphere, the amazing views of nature at its finest.

C.) Going to El Nido or Coron in Palawan with your family (since it's quite expensive, it's better to let your parents pay for the whole trip) and enjoying the white sand beach, the beautiful limestone cliffs, the soul-stirring sights and sceneries, and the crystal-clear blue waters.

D.) Taking a dull, rusty bread knife and slitting April Boy Regino's throat open, tearing out his vocal cords, and shooting him on the head with a .308 caliber bullet, preferably point blank so that his brains would liquefy and squish out of his broken skull.


OKAY, Time's up!

Whew, that was fun.

Sorry, but I just had to get that out of my system. After sitting through thirty minutes of traffic on an FX taxi with faulty air-conditioning and an agonizing April Boy album as background music... Well, let's just say there's only so much a 20-year-old self-diagnosed neurotic, manic-deppresive, obsessive-compulsive boy can take.

So humor me on this one.

Saturday, May 7, 2005

A shitload that explodes right on your face (or The Reason Why I Need A Sony iPod Shuffle Killer)

I’m losing it.

I used to think that I had good control over my emotions. In the past, I had no trouble setting aside negative personal feelings and fucked up emotions, and that allowed me to keep a cool head, a calm and collected disposition. But now, I don’t know…

Earlier tonight, I met up with some college friends and had dinner with them in CafĂ© Metro’s Recipes, GB3 (Great place, great food, General Chicken rules) and enjoyed dessert in our favorite dessert place (guess where.) It was great catching up with them, some of whom I haven’t seen in almost a month; two of them, both Globe subscribers back in college, have just started working for Smart at the start of the week. It had so far been, over-all, a great night (great food, great friends, of course it’s a great night), until it was time to go home (on a Friday night, I know, too early).

I was on my way home, and since I was all alone, I did what I usually do when I’m alone in a public place. I started talking to myself. No – not in a crazy way, but just in my head, just contemplating on recent and not-so-recent events, thinking about shitty things I’ve done, shouldn’t have done, and should do. Basically just talking to the strange voices inside me, sometimes arguing and debating – okay, so it is crazy.

I’m not gonna bore you by telling what exactly it was that I contemplated about (that is, if I haven’t bored you yet as of this lette r.) Besides, it’s way too personal to talk about here. Just pretend that you’re hearing a fake intellectual conversation filled with big highfalutin, pretentious words and stupid, unnecessary interjections and you’re halfway through reading my mind. Easy.

My point is that with the great night I was having, the moment I was alone, things went on a downward spiral. By the time I got home to my place I was feeling a little down and depressed. I think my problem is that I analyze things too much. More importantly, I analyze myself too damn much. It’s like I open a shitload of Pandora’s Box and everything just explodes right in my face, and I can understand why it exploded yet I can’t handle it.

Notice how many ‘I’s there are on this writing?

I don’t think we’re supposed to understand ourselves too well. It makes us go crazy.

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

I would’ve preferred a Mazda 3

It's been awhile since I last posted updates here. Blame it on the combination of my uneventful post-Boracay daze days and being busy on thesis some academic stuff.

As I said, nothing much has really happened lately. Except for my 20th birthday last week, which is pretty much a non-event, really. I remember reading something from a comic strip some years ago about how the older we get, the farther the words “happy” and “birthday” come together. Yeah… I think I would agree.

Not that my birthdays are getting unhappier each passing year, nor am I getting unhappier as I get older. (Just to clear that up.) In fact, it is pretty nice to finally get to say that I’m not a teenager anymore without having to lie.

[Skip this if you don’t want to hear some self-righteous gloating]
I’d like to think that when I was younger, I always tried to act like I was already 20-something. You know, someone who was more *cough*mature*cough* and independent and *cough cough cough*ahead of his time*cough cough cough* than the average high school boy. I just hope that now that I finally am in my twenties, I don’t start acting like I’m a high school kid.
[/end of gloating]


Anywayz, since it was my birthday some days ago, I decided to give myself a gift. I bought The Sandman Vol. 6, Fables and Reflections by (who else?) Neil Gaiman. This volume of The Sandman is actually a compilation of nine short stories, and so far I’ve only read the first one, called “Fear of Falling.” Good stuff. I also bought Jessica Zafra’s Tw7sted, the latest in her Twisted series. So far I’ve read the first five articles, I think. Good stuff, too.

My dad just bought an air con for my room. Says it’s his birthday gift for me. Not that I’m complaining, but I would’ve preferred a Mazda 3. Heh.

To everyone celebrating(?) their birthday today… Happy Birthday!

p.s. Happy Birthday Erika!